{"product_id":"housewarming-tea-towels","title":"Housewarming Tea Towels","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome gifts say “congrats”… this one says it \u003cem\u003eyour\u003c\/em\u003e way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOur \u003cstrong\u003e100% polyester tea towels\u003c\/strong\u003e are made to bring a little humor into the everyday, whether they’re hanging in the kitchen or wrapped up as part of a housewarming gift. Sized at 17.88\" x 27.63\", they’re soft, durable, and ready for real use—but let’s be honest, they’re just as good for the laugh they get.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFeaturing cheeky sayings like \u003cem\u003e“hope your new neighbors aren’t complete jerks,”\u003c\/em\u003e \u003cem\u003e“hope your new home isn’t haunted,”\u003c\/em\u003e and \u003cem\u003e“hope your new neighbors aren’t serial killers,”\u003c\/em\u003e they hit that perfect balance of funny, unexpected, and just a little bit bold.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEasy to gift, easy to display, and hard not to smile at.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause sometimes the best way to say “welcome home”… is with a little personality.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Home Mercantile | Swanky Beaver","offers":[{"title":"Hope your new neighbors aren't complete jerks.","offer_id":43096433361009,"sku":null,"price":11.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hope your new neighbors aren't serial killers.","offer_id":43096433393777,"sku":null,"price":11.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hope your new home isn't haunted.","offer_id":43096433426545,"sku":null,"price":11.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"New home. New neighbors. Est. 2026","offer_id":43096433459313,"sku":null,"price":11.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0656\/6530\/2641\/files\/jerks.jpg?v=1774453779","url":"https:\/\/www.wphomemercantile.com\/products\/housewarming-tea-towels","provider":"Home Mercantile | Swanky Beaver","version":"1.0","type":"link"}